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Reviewed are TOMMY LIMA IN BRAZIL 2 – IN THE JUNGLE (AlexanderPictures.com), BEST MEN - PART ONE - THE BACHELOR PARTY (FalconStudios.Com), THE DRIFTER (RagingStallion.Com), FARTS! (LucasEntertainment.Com), MAN HOLE (VCAPictures.Com), BAREBACKING WITH BIG DICKS (StreetCornerStudios.Com, BARE BRITISH HOODIES (LoadXXX.Co.UK), @WORK (BerlinStarFilm.Com), RAW RODS #2 - GANGSTA JUICE (FlavaWorks.Com), and FUCK YOU SUCKER and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE ASS (VCAPictures.Com).

WRITE Porn O’Phile HERE.

BUT FIRST: In 1983, a very old actor dropped by my Fifth Estate Theatre in L.A. and offered to stage-manage. He was bored and aching for show business. He quit quickly, saying my young actors were unprofessional (which was true), but not before telling me stories of his youth. He had played “Little Lord Fauntleroy” as a child, touring alone and being quite happily molested cross-country. Later, he and Clark Gable as hopeful youngsters roomed together in Hollywood and were casual lovers, until Norma Shearer firmly told Clark he had to stop sleeping with men for the sake of his career. The old man said Clark wept while they had their last sex with Clark’s packed bags beside their bed. Norma herself arrived with a car to whisk Clark away forever. In 1988, in the lobby at a show of mine in New York, a customer told me he had been a singer with a male quartet in Boston during the 1940’s. Cole Porter came there for try-outs of a show. He started an affair with a member of the quartet, and apparently liked it, because he didn’t want to leave the singer behind. He wrote the quartet into the show (probably “Let’s Face It,” with Danny Kaye) and brought them all to Broadway in a hit! In the program for “Let’s Face It,” I find songs listed as performed by “The Royal Guards,” who might be the fortunate quartet.

In 1991, a male nurse I sat with at a West Hollywood coffee-house told me that he had been in attendance during Randolph Scott’s last illness in 1988. He said that both Scott and Mrs. Scott spoke often, openly, and always lovingly of Cary Grant, with whom Scott lived for some years and with whom he made three films. Scott repeatedly referred to Grant as “the love of my life,” and both he and Mrs. Scott agreed that Grant was the most delightful man they’d ever met. Scott wept in front of his wife while he spoke of Grant’s splitting with him when hinty magazine articles about their cohabitation became too pointed. He said that he would have killed himself then, had not an affair with Fred Astaire, with whom he made two movies, saved his sanity and his life. Grant tried many kinds of therapy to become heterosexual, and after L.S.D. experiments, finally succeeded in fathering a child in 1966. I tried to get all three of the men who told me these stories to tape interviews with me, but none of them would. (From FILM MOI or NARCISSUS IN THE DARK, copyright 1994 by Robert Patrick.)

Flash! TOMMY LIMA IN BRAZIL 2 – IN THE JUNGLE (AlexanderPictures.com), which I strongly recommended HERE, is now available for your eager purchase HERE. Luscious Latinos do it in a verdant park in Rio, and you get to watch!

BEST MEN – PART ONE - THE BACHELOR PARTY (FalconStudios.Com) Gayness is taken for granted by a cast of bodybuilders among whom Lou Ferrigno would feel right at home. “Married? So quickly? That’s so Lesbian!” cracks a hunky friend of the suddenly-affianced coverman, Tony Capucci, who has just met the perfect guy. Tony’s bachelor party is a manic montage of Las Vegas lights, blow-up dolls, champagne, dildos, and the Dancing Waters. It ends with an opportunistic stripper screwing himself on comatose Tony’s tool. A drunken celebrant balls a valet in a limo. A poker game goes quickly from strip to schtupp. The luridly-colored illumination of a swimming pool and fountain mesmerizes two guests, one tan, one pink, into poolside sex. And the two hunkiest hunks copulate colossally from excitement about the bachelor party stories. I can’t wait to see how they carry on at the wedding breakfast in Part Two! See a synopsis and pix galore and buy this technically top-drawer movie HERE.

THE DRIFTER (RagingStallion.Com) Alert! Real movie! Pert gym-yuppie Logan McRee flies to Vancouver to find his lean beau, R.J. Danvers, with his cock nearly torn off by a trick’s asshole. Fortunately Logan brought his camping gear, so he has the eye-popping Canadian woods to go to pieces in. Bear-ish, cabin-dwelling hetero Vinnie D’Angelo takes the drifter in, lets him stay. They see a gay trio in the woods, and each flashbacks to a threeway sex-experience, Logan a sling and Vinnie a fling. (Warning: Vinnie’s memory includes a woman). They jack off separately, troublingly aware of each other. Tense days and nights later, Logan winds up with a very happy end. Excellent videography is by the two directors, Tony Dimarco and Ben Leon. It’s a compliment to them and Logan McRee, who scripted (and whose elaborately tattooed chest looks like a Persian carpet), that you can’t wait for an engulfing sex scene to be over so you can get back to the involving story, and vice-versa. Sure to be up for several awards. See a FREE PREVIEW and download PODCAST HERE. See pics and synopsis and buy the 2-DVD set HERE. Cast includes Manuel DeBoxer, Damian Rios, Luke Hass, Bo Matthews, Scott Tanner, Scott Alexander, the lovely Brianna Branch, and a forest and river you could watch forever.

Mister Michael Lucas, whom I recently praised as “suave, chic, and distinguished,” has now, of course, delivered unto us FARTS! (LucasEntertainment.Com). In a sterile setting, Liz Taylor lookalike Jason Crew and smooth dude Nick Capra start things off with shy dignity by pissing into their own and each other’s mouths, then kissing. After that, they and seven more graduates of Michael Lucas’ School of Deportment variously pump one another’s nether plumbing full of air, water, strings of balls, or a banana, and expel same, or fist anal fissures, spread ‘em wide and piss in ‘em, stuff ‘em with multiple dildos, or share double-headed dildos while they jack themselves. After that, blow-jobbing, buttsucking, buggering, and toe-nibbling seem nearly Victorian in context. Danny Delta, Josef Jacobs, Mikah Lawrence (who gives us a veritable anal tuba solo), Shawn Phillips, Jason Sparks, and Scott Spears complete the roster of choirboys, while Master Lucas gives lucky Cam Casey (teacher’s pet?) a suave master-class in accepting instructor’s urine and erection. Casey thanks Master with a load in the professorial palm. Buy all recent Lucas titles HERE. P.S.: See Michael Lucas looking very handsome in Russia HERE.

MANHOLE (VCAPictures.Com) and youth-hole and twink-hole. Ten buff young bodies (one blond, one black, one bearded), big young cocks, and elastic young assholes in rather gorgeous small rooms (an expensive bathhouse?) make five lighthearted Latino scenes extremely enjoyable. A twink rubs a coffee pot and a turbaned genie appears, a crew member rubs some woodwork and captain pops in, a lad says goodbye to a departing trick and a caped magician enters at once, a twink lies in bed and a doctor comes to make it well, a janitor and a lounger make a lounge real lively, and penises pump in posteriors (one absolutely carpeted in fur), and fucker’s holes look fit for fucking, too (in fact they get used in three flip-fuck scenes), and cum lands on temples, backs, chests, butts, and on one sweet face with a studded lip. Buy it HERE.

BAREBACKING WITH BIG DICKS (StreetCornerStudios.Com) Movie columnist Richard von Busack says a cashier once asked him, "SNAKES ON A PLANE? What's it about?" And now I’m supposed to tell you what BAREBACKING WITH BIG DICKS is about? This July in Buenos Aires, young men named Apolo Max, Fernando, Villareis, Arcanjo, Rick Solares, Henrique Silva, Andre Anoa, Alexandre Senna, Lui, Rafinha Angel, and, I swear, Sandro Bullock, got together to suck everything on each other (it’s a wonder their tattoos stayed on) and then fuck assholes which in the circumstances look like craters with monumental columns being pounded into them. It’s probably for the best that sometimes the bottoms’ big cocks are limp. There might not be space for two erections that size in one room. Find Street Corner movies HERE. Buy this one HERE.

BARE BRITISH HOODIES (LoadXXX.Co.UK) A “hoodie” is a flannel or fleece garment, a loose, zippered sweater with—a hood. Apparently it does for idle British youths what jockstraps and white socks do for me. Three youths idly smoking outdoors decide to go in and get warm. To go into each other and get warm, that is. Their butts and cocks look firm and glossy with their baggy hoodies and jeans pulled respectively up and down. In five scenes, including the trio (one puppy fucks another who’s fucking a third’s face!), they tend to keep some garments on, whether from haste, cold, fetishism, or directorial kink, who can say? One pair of lovelies strip, then re-don just their hoodies for warmth, and there’s an athletic kitchen flip-fuck. Buy it HERE.

@WORK (BerlinStarFilm.Com) Nice work if you can get it, and you certainly can “get it” on five manual jobs in this cleanly-shot flick by Uwe Stoll, the maker of OFFICE SLUTS. Men scraping off wallpaper remove their dust-masks to kiss. One tears a hole in the other’s overalls to rim and fuck him. Dismantling a loft-bed, two plaid-shirted guys find two long, black, flexible dildos, which seem to turn them gay (well, one has a Prince Albert already). One guy DPs the other with dildo AND dick. Two housepainters stay in their t-shirts for a fast cum-break. Furniture-movers fist on a gynecologist’s exam-table. Two carpet-men and a carpenter mss up a rug. Watch it whole or by scenes or buy the DVD HERE.

RAW RODS #2 – GANGSTA JUICE (FlavaWorks.Com) Porn movies have taught me why men don’t like to ask for directions. It’s because every time you do, you get butt-fucked. Also, as I learned from this entertaining movie, you get fucked when you go to meet a friend of a friend in a ranchhouse, when you crash for a night with a buddy, when you offer someone simple accommodations which they scorn as “a shithole,” or when you ask a computer whiz for a favor. Anyway, that’s what happens when you’re all young, handsome bros with third legs for dicks. Flava’s still-fresh idea of placing its “gangstas” in upscale settings rather than “hoods” vitalizes the action. The camera caresses all those caramel, chocolate, and coffee bodies. If you don’t believe me, see a FREE PREVIEW and enlargeable pix of every scene, and buy the DVD HERE. Models Kris, Rio Jermahl, Kairo Japan Rockafella, Kydezion Rockafella, Antonio Lockhart, Que Rockafella, Hardcore, Manny Baby Scene, Hotrod, Manny Baby, and Rock have few, but choice and original tattoos.

FUCK YOU SUCKER and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE ASS (VCAPictures.Com) These 4-hour HIS Video compilations of scenes “prior to July 3, 1955” are a hoot, and out of 13 scenes on each DVD, there are sure to be many to tickle your pickle and some to tickle your ribs and those of your friends (these are perfect party-movies). Most scenes are white duos in apartments, but FUCK includes a shower and a brick barn, and one solo, plus interracial stuff (A duo and two trios), and a classic delivery-man scene. JOURNEY offers a twink-trio, a stud-quartet, a penthouse boink in full view of any binoculars, a gym-jam, a park-lark, a black duo, a hunk-threeway, and a hillside hump. I got into porn only in 2003, so I don’t know any of the models except in JOURNEY Eric Ryan (a judge who wears only monster cock beneath his robe) and Joey Stefano, who strips down and puts out for beach-blond Randy White (the only one of forty credited models who appears in both movies). Buy these and other 4-Hour fests HERE. You may see my review of a very good 4-hour cum-a-thon, HEAD MASTERS, HERE.

RETURN TO THE CAFFE CINO, THE BIRTHPLACE OF OFF-OFF BROADWAY AND OF GAY THEATRE is a big, purple book, packed with 22 plays, 37 brief memoirs, and 51 photos from the Greenwich Village storefront coffeehouse where John Guare, Lanford Wilson, William M. Hoffman (author of AS IS), and Tom Eyen (author of DREAMGIRLS) got their start. For the HARDCOVER edition, go HERE. For the PAPERBACK edition, go HERE.

SEE ME ON VIDEO along with many other living legends of underground and gay theatre HERE. Go down to the segment marked THE CAFFE CINO (00:11:45) and click on WATCH SEGMENT. If you are then curious to know yet more about the Caffe Cino, you may find the Contents Page to fifty-four picture pages about it HERE (until October 31, when AOL cancels its Homepage Program).

Check back next week for more Sinema by Porn O'Phile reviews.

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