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Reviewed are DOUBLE STANDARD – DIRECTOR’S EXPANDED EDIT (TitanMen.com), FRIENDLY FORCE (JamieHendrix.Com), SWALLOW MY PRIDE (AmateurStraightGuys.Com),THE SUBWAY (FrenchConnXXX.Com), SOLDIER’S SECRET (VCAPictures.Com), YOUNG LATEENO BAREBACKERS 1 (ZVidz.Com), CRUISING FOR SEX: SEX MOTEL (CFSPorn.Com), FITLADS (SealProductions.Com), HUNG VACATION (BlueLagoonMovies.Com), THE TWINS AND 10” TWINKS (MiamiStudios.Com), and softcore 3-DAY WEEKEND (TLAReleasing.Com).

BUT FIRST: Some Purr-Verse.

When starting to fall for an anus you’re in,
Remember with all of your might
You’re really just fucking your penis’s skin
An anus just holds tight.

The greatest mysteries of time and space
Compared to this one are as clear as glass:
Why is it when I see a pretty face
I want to stick erection up its ass?

When shoving your pole in,
Try to cave his hole in.
When drawing your putz out,
Try to pull his guts out.

The head of my dick, swollen in rut,
Looks like a little tiny butt.
A shiny butt, shaven and slick,
Looks like the head of a giant dick.

The first time I fisted,
I didn't know it existed.
As I indented it,
I thought I'd invented it.

During the three-minute title sequence of DOUBLE STANDARD – DIRECTOR’S EXPANDED EDIT (TitanMen.com), you see so much sex, so many mouths and manholes full of cock, so many gleaming muscles and passionate eyes, you may be tempted just to beat-off and go to bed. But don’t. While you’re waiting for your second wad to build up, there are four charming little stories in an up-scale condo to enjoy. Handyman Francois Sagat finds a yuppie’s dishwasher full of dildos, then is found by plumber Max Schutler, who pisses on Sagat and gets rewarded with a brutal buttfucking! Next come two black and white couples: carpenters talk with double meaning (“shaft” and “penetration”) before a flip-fuck with fisting involved; black building manager Diesel Washington fixes accented resident Eric Moreau’s plumbing good and proper. Washington pisses like fireworks in the shower. Then Moreau seems to turn into pure cunt with a gorgeous cock and balls for decoration! On a sunshiny side-road, Moreau’s irate lover Dean Flynn pays for being snotty with car-mechanics Billy Berlin and Tyler Peter with his fair white mouth and dick in the flatbed of their pick-up! Swell sandwich-fuck with great under-shots! There’s a fisting addendum to this outdoor scene. The widescreen videography throughout is mainstream-movie quality and classic-movie romantic, with rich browns and golds in indoor scenes, and a rich spectrum outdoors. Titan Members may see a HARDCORE PREVIEW or VIEW ON DEMAND, and anyone may buy the DVD HERE.

Both moody and mastrubatory is FRIENDLY FORCE (JamieHendrix.Com). Steely-eyed, crewcut blond Chad Clovis plays a police officer who’s been fired for “corruption,” i.e. having sex with “hot hustlers” and using confiscated drugs. Finally an officer-orgy (above left) got him and his buddies ousted. “All of us wanted to stay on the force, but when left alone with those hot hustler boys, all you’d think about was doing another line, sucking another load, fucking another tight ass.” Clovis and two other cops each have a scene doing just that, and two more cops even find usable hot holes on each other at a mansion which Clovis came out of the scandal with (above center). Director Jamie Hendrix squeezes every atom of visual appeal and richness from the camera. I liked the shadow of Clovis’ crewcut on a partner’s stomach (above right). Buy this superior movie HERE.

SWALLOW MY PRIDE (AmateurStraightGuys.Com) “And I’ll swallow yours,” the good-natured straight guys who hang around in Doug & Jay’s house might reply. They laugh as they suck each other all though this oral-only movie. Now and then fully-dressed Doug or Jay pops in and eats some meat and manhole, too. The director, Doug, chats with the models like old friends, inquiring about their sexual tastes and experiences as if they were talking sports statistics. Scene one’s a trio where the sucker gets load shot right into his mouth (above left). There’s a raucous outdoor interlude in a snowy mountain park before Doug and Jay suck some slim youths. And there’s some asshole-show as three muscle-studs lunch on each other’s erections, including a Matthew McConaughey clone (above center). Then Doug devours the prettiest visitor of all (above right). Buy tons of Amateur Straight Guys movies HERE.

More fun in under one hour than most movies are in three, 1983’s THE SUBWAY (FrenchConnXXX.Com) has a cool jazz score, razor-sharp editing of leather-jacketed gay guys on the New York train cruising and connecting (and drooping when they fail to connect), and great shots of a city decked with (for instance), posters for the original Broadway “Evita!” Photographer John Turk must have hidden his camera in a handbag. Do some of the subway passengers even know they’re in a gay porn movie? The cruising hero has a long pink tube of a cock (above left), and a face like young Al Pacino or Sylvester Stallone, which looks best dripping from its scruffy Don Johnson beard cum (above center) shot there by my old roommate, Justin Thyme (above right)—or that could be just one more pretty mustached blond from those easy, greasy, unending, anonymous orgy days which this movie captures so very, very well. Quite steamy sex scenes culminate in group sex in a graffitied grotto with trains roaring by. Vintage Trailers are, as always, worth the price of rental in themselves. Buy it HERE.

SOLDIER’S SECRET (VCAPictures.Com) These soldiers’ secrets are that they like (1) to suck dick (2) having their dicks sucked, (3) fucking male ass, and (4) having their asses fucked. Director Alex De Large’s secret is, he likes to spread model’s thighs during a fuck so that we see absolutely everything (above left). Two young recruits keep a folded tarp hidden in a bush so that they can spread it out and eat each other’s long meat, then one of them open his butt and take the other’s thrusting tool. Maximum shock of pink flesh against jungle greenery (above center). The bottom cums with dick still in him. Another pair find shelter from rain on the porch of a black house, and warm up by one buggering the tattooed, tongue-studded other standing up, then rimming him bending over. A husky soldier hides but is found and fucked by an equally burly one behind a palm tree. Like Michael Lucas, De Large sometimes delights in showing open, gaping, disgusting, beautiful a-hole as a sexual organ. Gathering wood with his shirt off gives a well-built grunt and his cute buddy wood, too, which they relieve using trees as props for athletic postures (above right). Finally, a rope-climber hurts his ankle coming down. His prettier buddy in sympathy opens heart, mouth, and then asshole to the wounded warrior. Buy all sorts of HIS movies HERE. Buy this one HERE.

If you’re just feeling like some well-done, basic twink-porn to lift your log, you couldn’t do better than YOUNG LATEENO BAREBACKERS 1 (ZVidz.Com), onscreen title “Young Latino Barebackers.” The case claims that there are fourteen wads from eight youths in four scenes, and I doubt it not. The stuff practically flies out of the screen. Mostly only one partner in each of four scenes looks Latino (or Lateeno). First Lateeno (or Lateeny) blows a white cutie to completion before fucking him against a white wall and a gray floor. Second, a slightly older, slender Lateen swaps cock- and colon-sucks with an aggressive crewcut Gringo, who then fucks him with a huge, dark-pink dick, and then sits on the big-veined brown boner and rides it to nasty fulfillment (above center). A possibly-both-Lateeno pair do it on a nice desk and rug, which they must have left smelling like a dog was scratching his asshole on it. Two brunets, one longhaired, round out the sex-storm. Longhair gets his colon swollen by polin’ (above right)! Much man-muck is spewed and licked! Buy it HERE.

CRUISING FOR SEX: SEX MOTEL (CFSPorn.Com) Okay. No-nonsense. Three exceptional twink-scenes. I’m just going to tell about the first one at length, because it tingled my specific bells, but all three are fine. A brown twink writhes on a motel bed. A dark-blond one watches through the window, comes right in and jacks on a sofa, stands, strips, and necks with Brownie, grinding pelves together. A blonder youth window-watches them rim, and is welcomed in. A mature man smiles seeing immature limbs sprawl as they suck-around. The man’s nearly-vaginal asshole becomes the center of attention. He and a youth get fucked as old men watch and wank. Then they use a dildo to connect two down-doggie dudes’ assholes, one of my favorite gross and grotesque things (above left)! Scene two: glory-holes cut in black-painted plywood get plenty of use. A slender blond gobbles back and forth between two holes, and gets butt-fucked through one (above center). The guys come out of their cubbyholes and finish in a normal bed-trio. In a hot-tub scene, the most remarkable thing is the innocent, almost girlish face of one pale pink twink compared to the thickness and gross carnality of his huge dick and his surprising, ugly, doormat-like bush and belly hair (above right). Buy it HERE.

FITLADS (SealProductions.Com) Five Brit-slit scenes have cute casts shot in a way which emphasizes the pinkness of their complexions. They give that impression of good acting which English accents always give. A rather weathered, flint-faced adult trainer takes his time feeling up a pretty twinkie on a weight-bench (above left). Twink’s stiff tool looks almost artificial, it’s so slick and perfect. Trainer’s curved, veined one is real-real, and serves to pleasure the lad’s incredibly easy-entry asshole. Then they do my favorite thing in the world, flip, and Trainer cums the bench while Twink cums on the Trainer! Twink Two has Trainer moaning from getting fucked with fast, short strokes. Two young carpenters on break “amuse” themselves by taking off their clothes but leaving on their hardhats for sex. They return to work without even the hardhats (above center)! A stare-down in a sauna becomes unusually intense twink sucking-and-fucking (above right). Finally, two twinks make good use of running-machines. Buy it HERE.

Populated by ten gorgeous guys gorgeously videographed, with a sensuous guitar score, HUNG VACATION (BlueLagoonMovies.Com) delivers dick-hardening images of long, hard dicks on guys who look way Gringo but speak Spanish (when their masculine mouths aren’t full of cock or cornhole). The cocks get so hard and long and stretched that I couldn’t tell which were cut and which not. Cum-loads covering their heads made that even more difficult. Two nude cuties sunbathing beside a pick-up truck quarrel over which of them got “the pop star Ginani” at a no-holes-barred house-party. We slash back (sorry, I meant “flash-back”) to see five gut-gouging sex scenes (and some solos) on every plane surface around a luxurious pool. Lighting and camera angles are often dramatic and always eye-candy. I challenge any man to stop jacking long enough to count the cumshots. Buy it HERE.

THE TWINS AND 10” TWINKS (MiamiStudios.Com), sure, but who’s measuring, with all those long, lanky young limbs flailing around? First: two blonds! “I like stuff,” says Botticelli-blond Seth Fisher, lounging on a familiar Miami Studios deck beside Dutch-boy-cut blond Jack Diamond. Fisher eats Diamond’s fire-plug fuck-stick and gets his own bubble-gum boner chewed. Fisher does the fresh-air fucking between Diamond’s perfect tanlines (above left). Freshman jock-type Mark Wallburg works with Fisher lookalike Jarrett Fox in a convertible in a garage. You can just about smell the new-car young-crotch odors (above center). The jock fucks the pretty blond. Anther junior jock, Ricky Hawke, gets some poolside tongue from Asian Nathan before banging Nathan’s butt. Finally, little Jeremy Haynes gets trapped between the charms of twins Alan and Alex Fisher. (above right). His charms for them are his masticating mouth and his elastic anus. The twins each hose both of his holes all over a sofa. See synopsis and stills and order HERE.

Currently playing at film festivals, softcore 3-DAY WEEKEND (TLAReleasing.Com) is sure to be a hit there, in theatres, and on DVD when it’s released on November 18. This gentle comedy/drama of eight metropolitan men weekending in a mountain-cabin,(including a yoga teacher and a surprise hustler), is less faggy and less funny than “Love! Valor! Compassion!”, which its cast discusses and dishes right away. “I’ll take ‘Longtime Companion’ any day,” one growly bearded lecher proclaims. He’s Derek Long (above right in black t-shirt), perhaps the outstanding player in the fine cast. The movie’s gentle humor revolves around age, appearance, fidelity, and some peculiar gay propriety (ONE HOST: “How dare you bring a hustler into our home?” HIS LOVER: “Well, technically, this isn’t our home.”) The Big Bear Lake scenery and the clothed and unclothed indoor antics of the cast are caught in really lovely, widescreen “On Golden Pond” images. See trailer and synopsis and festival dates and stills (oh my) and buy it November 18 HERE.

RETURN TO THE CAFFE CINO is a big, purple book, packed with 22 plays, 37 brief memoirs, and 51 photos (samples above) from the Greenwich Village storefront coffeehouse which was THE BIRTHPLACE OF OFF-OFF BROADWAY AND OF GAY THEATRE. For the HARDCOVER edition, go HERE. For the PAPERBACK edition, go HERE.

SEE ME ON VIDEO along with many other living legends of underground theatre HERE. Go down to the segment marked THE CAFFE CINO (00:11:45) and click on WATCH SEGMENT. If you are then curious to know yet more about the Caffe Cino, you may find the Contents Page to fifty-four picture pages about it HERE.

Check back next week for more Sinema by Porn O'Phile reviews.

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