First Twink to Paging Dr. Finger - This Week on SINema

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Reviewed are HOTTER THAN HELL (RagingStallion.com), WAREHOUSE (TitanMen.com), MUG SHOTS (DirtyBirdPictures.com), PAGING DR. FINGER (HotHouse.com), THE BEST OF THUGPORN 2 (PitbullProductions.com), FLAVAMEN JUNIOR YEAR (FlavaMen.com), FIRE IN THE HOLE and HIS FIRST TWINK (VCAPictures.com), JR. HOTTIE SPORTS CLUB (GayMagix.com), and SANTO DOMINGO UNCUT #1 (PapiCock.com).

But First: PRODUCERS, PLEASE DON’T SAY “NO” TO MY PLEAS! For the love of nonexistent God, will you please, please, pleeeeeease stop putting previews which one can’t speed through or click past at the top of your DVDs? Or just not put previews there at all? It’s bad enough that we have to sit through compliance forms and “don’t duplicate” screens and safe sex reminders, but then to have to watch trailers, sometimes even TRAILERS FOR THE MOVIE WE’VE ALREADY RENTED OR BOUGHT!!!!! What is that???? I keep thinking that the trailer (or trailers) is (or are) the movie, and I open my pants, and then wham! Suddenly there’s a slogan telling me how wonderful the movie is going to be, if you guys ever finally get around to showing it to me! It bugs the bejeezis out of me, and I should think it might also bug video-store customers, who might very possibly decide it’s easier to punch a button on their very-handy computers and watch just the porn, ma’am, just the porn—and if they’re mad enough at you, maybe not your porn.

Directed by Chris Ward and Ben Leon and subtitled “A Sex Saga in Two Parts,” HOTTER THAN HELL (RagingStallion.com) consists of two disks, one entitled HOTTER THAN HELL, and the second BEST OF STEVE CRUZ. The first, 145 minutes long, is PART ONE of a touching, torchy tale of male frustration, sublimation, and fulfillment, rather realistic except for the extreme sexual attractiveness of every man involved, and you don’t mind that, do you? I loved the variety of settings and moods, everything from a solo in a guy’s quiet apartment, to the hard, sharp, cold confines of a white-painted locker-room, to a noisy bar and its grunting, slobbering backroom, a video store, a living-room, a romantic garage. (TO BE CONTINUED, and the trailer for Part Two looks WILD). BEST OF STEVE CRUZ is five very well-produced Cruz-y scenes in a steamy tropical forest, an ornate tomb, a grungy dungeon, an exotic outpost, and an incredibly accommodating tattoo parlor, excerpted from Lords of the Jungle, Mirage, Savage, Grunts, and Ink Storm (“ink” as in “tattoo”). Buy lots of Raging Stallion movies HERE. See pix and a complete detailed synopsis HERE, and a FREE TRAILER OF HOTTER THAN HELL HERE.

After you see what goes on in the two disks of director Brian Mills’ Expanded edit of WAREHOUSE (TitanMen.com), you’ll be asking “Oh, boy, ware is that house?” Amidst walls of brick and corrugated iron, blue-jeaned brutes or weekend-brutes Victor Banda, Matt Baxter, Tommy Blade, Damien Crosse, Eduardo, Darius Falke, Dean Flynn, Dirk Jager, Chad Manning, Dak Ramsey, Dominic Sol, Rick van Sant, and Ago Viara (in alphabetical order) start by pissing on themselves or each other, and end with a fisting trio including self-fisting! In between there’s a lot of titanic (or TitanMenic?) cocksucking and buttfucking with some sandwiching, some flipping, and a wee bit of bondage, all excellently videographed in anamorphic widescreen (not letterboxed) and carefully-controlled color (everything seems aimed to make flesh and body hair look like flesh and body hair). Especially nice is the fact that although the illusion is kept throughout that the warehouse is dark and deserted, the sexual figures are perfectly brightly lit, so you don’t miss one single detail of their vigorous sodomy, scruffy beards, or defiant tattoos. See TitanMen’s latest products HERE. TitanMen Members may see a TRAILER or the whole movie, and anyone adult can buy the DVD HERE (you may be asked to click on your country first). A nice touch is that it’s bright daylight outside of those iron and brick warehouse walls.

Jett Blakk is back and Dink Flamingo’s got him--to write, direct, and even shoot MUG SHOTS (DirtyBirdPictures.com). “Prison is full of innocent people,” is the motto of this striking, cynical little comedy-drama (comedy because Blakk’s wry, dry irony is ever-present—along with his surefire visual sense). “I’ll even keep the handcuffs on,” says a horny arrestee to seduce the mug-shot shooter. Blakk being Blakk, there’s a plot, but each plot point is made with a sex-scene presented with fashion-magazine finesse. Of the models, I recognized only magic-man Chad Hunt and so-ugly-he’s-snuggly Braxton Bond, but the whole cast is cruisable in different ways, from shavehead lollipops to bearded-and-tattooed mastermen. You can read producer Dink Flamingo’s excited remarks about this and his other movies HERE, and you really should. You can see cast-pix and a synopsis HERE.

PAGING DR. FINGER (HotHouse.com) “I have something stuck up my butt,” says a very embarrassed E.R. patient to a very handsome doctor, The cops who brought him in give him cock to suck for the pain while he jacks and the doc removes a dinosaur-sized dildo. The exam-room becomes a cram-room. That’s the funniest scene, but four more are just as fulfilling of your WHITE-BREAD MEDICAL FANTASIES. Sensationally crisp, clean videography gives a comic-book quality to the prurient proceedings, but the models are way serious about the sex. Of the marvelous cast, I recognized only the initial, enchanting doctor Trevor Knight, but everybody’s an up. Tons of tattoos relieve the blandness of the realistic hospital décor. You may buy this and many another HotHouse movie HERE. You may see super stills, read a sizzling synopsis, and, by taking a free membership, see a TRAILER HERE. You may be prompted to click “CONTINUE TO SITE.” P.S.: If you try to go to the Main Menu during the website ads and movie trailers at the top of the disk (after the safe sex, non-duplication, and compliance screens), your player may turn off. However, Mr. Rob LeVan, Hot House's Customer Service representative, writes: "I believe that if you use the chapter forward buttons " >| ", that will allow you to skip ahead to the next section of the DVD. Each time that the forward button is pressed, it skips to the next trailer and finally to the main menu. I hope that helps." In other words, “skip” or “next chapter” all the way to 18 minutes in, and you’ll be at the Main Menu page. However, if you try to return to the Main Menu from Chapters, your player might also turn off. Just go with “Play Movie” and count yourself lucky.

THE BEST OF THUGPORN 2 (PitbullProductions.com) consists of six very urban excerpts from Bottoms Up, In the Heat, Lord of da Pinga, Dillon the One, Straight Meat, and Love of the Dick Vol. 3, featuring Tiger Tyson, T Malone, Bandit, Ludacris, Viper, Carmello, Lil Jay, Dillon, Joshua, Double R, Chaos, Supreme, and Midnight. The mood ranges from an ugly rape in a prison basement to an elegant encounter on a metropolitan rooftop. In between, weightlifters, a plasterer, poker players, and loiterers under the El get laid. See a clickable list of ALL Pitbull movies HERE, and see a FREE TRAILER, synopsis, and pics, and buy this one HERE.

FLAVAMEN JUNIOR YEAR (FlavaMen.com) has nineteen mostly black scenes from 2005-2007 arranged in a “magazine” format, that is, in most of the scenes, someone is taking flashbulb photos for a magazine, often vocally directing the models how to pose, jack, and fuck. This irritates the hell out of me. If it doesn’t bother you, you will certainly greatly enjoy these handsome, hung, horny-holed models giving their all to arouse and fulfill you. Duos, solos, and a trio in a kitchen, bedrooms, office, a bathroom, and poolside, are often interrupted for instructions. Toward the end of two and three-quarters generous hours of hot cock, it’s mostly solos, and much more racially varied. Buy many Flava movies HERE. See FREE PREVIEW of FLAVAMAN JUNIOR YEAR and buy it HERE.

Flip-fucking, that is, cock-owners taking turns letting each other use their assholes for pussy, is to me the most beautiful, generous, masculine, homosexual thing two males can do. In scenes one and five of FIRE IN THE HOLE (VCAPictures.com), both outdoors, only the younger Latino soldiers get their butts bonked, but in between, across the sinks of the most stylish military bath-facilities ever seen, in a bunk in a simple cinder-blocks barrack, and on the floor of a non-military-looking kitchen where an older recruit and a twink are hungry only for testosterone-twat, one guy uses the other’s cooze to massage his meat in, then pulls out and turns around and offers his own fleshy orifice for an erection’s enjoyment. It’s so hot! Cum comes in so many varieties, from watery and invisible to as thick and white as toothpaste! The platoon has an excellent barber; the guys’ black hair is full and springy in a number of very virile styles. The very capable director is presented in various promotional material as Alex delarge, Alex DeLarge, Alex De Large, and Alex De Larga. If you click on “Star Index,” and then click on the pic of the models from a specific scene, you then arrive at a detailed fetish menu for that scene. Why you are asked to take such a circuitous and mislabeled route is not explained. Buy HERE.

Again, three out of five couples flip in HIS FIRST TWINK (VCAPictures.com), also directed by Mr. delarge, DeLarge, De Large, or De Larga. In a basement game-room, a goateed man gives pool-shooting lessons to a very serious-eyed twink, who at the first opportunity turns around and kisses his instructor! They use the table for games it was never meant for, but which it seems to support easily enough. The lad is very romantic. The man fucks him, then sits on the boy’s boner and rides it with enthusiastic anus. On a big bed with lots of controls in the headboard, two brunet youths become uncontrolled. One has a hard-on which looks too huge to take, but his partner takes it easily and eagerly. In a luxurious bathroom, a black-leathered civilian and a white-uniformed sailor get naked and flip-fuck on the edge of a big bathtub. On an even bigger bed with so many controls they have to be beside it, a bearded and a non-bearded pair’s asses accommodate each other. On yet another control-bedecked bed (a round one this time!), a beautiful white youth watches a graceful black one dance in a toga, with predictable results. In front of some rather lurid abstract art, black fucks white with style and vigor! If you click on “Star Index,” and then click on the pic of the models from a specific scene, you then arrive at a detailed fetish menu for that scene. Why you are asked to take such a circuitous and mislabeled route is not explained. Buy HERE.

JR. HOTTIE SPORTS CLUB (GayMagix.com) flashes the cast’s ages (18 through 21) in parentheses after their names. This is from High Drive, the company which takes twinks to the country in trailer houses to shoot them performing playful abominations in the woods. A blond whispers, “I’ve never done this before,” then gets flung down on a sleeping bag in the grass by a spiked brunet who clearly has “done this” before. Two brunets start out in a little rubber raft, but soon sensibly get onshore and fuck on a sheet and in a hatchback. A very light black youth and a passionate white brunet use both hood and hatchback of a red van. Youths named Jayden and Kaden immediately dispose of fishing equipment and raft and do the hatchback thing again. One last try in the raft involves an oral trio, but enough is enough and they retire to a solid, sturdy picnic table for some biracial buttfucking. Eleven minutes of sexual interviews with an eighteen-year-old model, then with three nineteen-year-olds are every bit as interesting as you’d expect an eighteen-year-old’s and three nineteen-year-olds’ sexual interviews to be—and every bit as endearingly awkward. Buy many GayMagix pix HERE, and this one in particular HERE.

Once you get through its self-preview, SANTO DOMINGO UNCUT #1’s (PapiCock.com) six Spanish-language twink scenes look really good. The young models are slim, smiling, and hung, in many shades of brown. Settings for vigorous buttfucks are domestic (living room, bedroom, bathroom), with occasional glances at FLAVAMEN Magazine to get a scene going. (One twink has a Marilyn Monroe poster!) A few glimpses of presumably Santo Domingo bruise-blue sky make you wish the little darlings would diddle in the beautiful outdoors. Buy many Flava movies HERE. See FREE PREVIEW of SANTO DOMINGO UNCUT #1 and buy it HERE.

RETURN TO THE CAFFE CINO is a big., thick book packed with 22 plays, 37 brief memoirs, and 51 photos from the Greenwich Village storefront coffeehouse which was THE BIRTHPLACE OF OFF-OFF BROADWAY AND OF GAY THEATRE. For the HARDCOVER edition, go HERE. For the PAPERBACK edition, go HERE.

SEE ME ON VIDEO along with many other living legends of underground theatre HERE. Go down to the segment marked THE CAFFE CINO (00:11:45) and click on WATCH SEGMENT. If you are then curious to know yet more about the Caffe Cino, you may find the Contents Page to fifty-four picture pages about it HERE.

Check back next week for more Sinema by Porn O'Phile reviews.

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