Cute to Scary Movies. Professional Note. Personal Note.

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Reviewed are CHAINSAW – DIRECTOR’S EXPANDED EDIT (Titanmen.com), THE 4TH FLOOR (RagingStallion.com), TOP BRASS – MILITARY ISSUE 2 (C1R.com), PHYS-ED BUTT BULLIES (GayMagix.com), ACE IN YOUR FACE (C1R.com), softcore KNOCKOUT! (VillageLighthouse.com), ALLEYBOYS (C1R.com), MUSCLE BEAR TRAP (GayMagix.com), and BI-OLOGY (C1R.com)

PROFESSIONAL NOTE: Even though Blu-Ray has won the format war, some producers who over-invested in HD Widescreen are still issuing movies made in that form, but nowhere designating them as Widescreen (not any of the producers reviewed below, by the way). When opened on conventional players, the figures in these movies are scrunched in tightly so that they look starvation-thin. I am personally tired of putting movies onto my player and discovering to my surprise that the models all resemble giraffes when standing, and hippopotami when lying down. I imagine porn-customers may be tired of this as well. When a fellow rents a DVD on Friday and heads home for a weekend of wanking, he may not like being confronted with deformed monsters where he expected perfect men. I know why producers feel they have to issue these products; they cost money to make and that money must be made back. But let us hope that soon that backstock of ill-advised production runs out, so that this unfortunate inundation of unacknowledged, malformed movies will soon be ended.

PERSONAL NOTE: On June 11th at noon, during a luncheon at the Hyatt West Hollywood Rooftop, I and about a dozen other people will receive the Rainbow Key Award from the City of West Hollywood and The Lesbian and Gay Advisory Board. I take it that the Award is rather like the key to the city of West Hollywood, surely one of the gay capitols of the world. All the other recipients who have been announced obviously deserve the award. I think I’m included only because I’ve outlived just about any other gay playwright they might give it to, but I’m very grateful anyway. I think it’s sort of a closed event, but in case it isn’t and you’re in town and coming, please introduce yourself to me.

CHAINSAW – DIRECTOR’S EXPANDED EDIT (Titanmen.com) At this point, director Joe Gage needs no compliments from me or from any other quarter. He stands alone among porn’s greats. This movie, characteristically, takes place in a rural area among men in a macho profession, duh, chain-sawing. Characteristically, few of the men, besides the “chicken” twinks, are pretty. There’s a scroungy, scruffy, fuzzy look about them. And, characteristically, long, charged glances between them are as important and erotic as the ensuing actual sex. Characteristically, the scenes mix classes or generations or both. Gage movies are all about confession and recognition and discovery of maleness, and mutual surrender to its complex and surprising demands. A forest ranger spies on a lumberjack who, through movie magic, pisses for a mythologically long time. “Wanna work naked?” a lumberman asks his twinkish helper, and gets out bug repellent to smear on the lad. Anyway, that’s the first thing he smears on him. At home, the forest ranger joins (hold onto your cock) his young sons -- in a j.o. contest -- at their invitation!! A hot-eyed solo householder stares down a suit-and-tied traveling salesman (who greatly resembles Matthew Fox of Lost). No one in the depressed area has money for luxuries, so the salesman takes what he can get—over a washing machine. Things get ruder on Disk Two. A parking-lot confrontation between two horndogs “looking for girls” and a city dude who says he’s a “model scout” evolves into what everyone was after all along. Two final company picnic fiveways begin with the delivery of beer which is going to develop into piss for the cast to spray on one another in between sucks and fucks—after plenty of provocative eye-play. Characteristically, scenes are leisurely (about a half hour each). With six scenes on two disks, this movie looks like maybe a whole weekend’s work for most men. (One couple each cum twice, but I’m not telling you which). Buy many Titan Movies HERE. See a detailed synopsis of CHAINSAW and buy it HERE. You may be prompted to select your mailing region.

Very much in the Gage aesthetic are the five scenes (in two and three-quarter hours) of THE 4TH FLOOR (RagingStallion.com), directed to within an inch of its life by Ben Leon (editor of all those “Grunts” movies). A three-and-a-half minute prelude of short snips from each scene builds a montage of maleness (construction site, cop, tattoos, power tools, body-hair, sunglasses, freight-elevator, jockstrap, cum-wad) which is but expanded on in the movie itself. First scene: a hot pursuit down a hallway was unnecessary, because the prey yields instantly, but then so does the tattoo-gallery pursuer. Ball-caps fall off to reveal that the next couple is both bald, but with scruffy beards that get entangled in each other’s crotch-hair. The next young, pretty pair look like they might have come in off of a cruising street just to fuck in the butch environment. A stray dude in a pull-over cap joins them to fuck an unoccupied asshole. Next, the tattooed dude rests from repairing an immense machine to tend to his own heavily cock-ringed erection. Finally, a bald cop flings a puny punk against a wall three times, then cuffs him to a pipe and flings him phallus. See trailer, pics, and a salacious synopsis and buy HERE.

TOP BRASS – MILITARY ISSUE 2 (C1R.com), once you get past Channel 1’s relentless self-promotion (for ALL their companies), offers first four military solos and two trios under the title “New Recruits” and then eight solos, a trio, and a cummy-faced duo under “Recall to Active Duty.” The good news is - that’s sixteen scenes altogether. The caution news is - they’re all run pretty much the same. For a specimen, big-dicked Sean says, “Everybody says I look good.” Well, he sure looks good on a bed with his legs spread in a big “M,” then holding his cheeks open to show a shaggy-redhaired tiny hole. But repetitious or not, three hours and twenty-two minutes of straight male military meat with occasional hale and hearty sucking and fucking has got to be the bargain of the year. Buy HERE.

PHYS-ED BUTT BULLIES (GayMagix.com) may very well get my vote as the Best Porn Movie Title of the Year. The movie attached to the title is endearingly amateurish, and cast with twinks whose names and very young ages are plastered across the screen in bright red letters. In a great big clearing out in the woods, with trailer houses parked in the background, a super-cutie rides in, naked but for a cowboy hat, on the back of a careening SUV. He strips a little Botticelli blond who was wearing only trunks anyway, and they swap stand-up sucks in the relentless sunlight. Then Cowboy cornholes bent-over Botticelli against the SUV. It’s sort of an American dream, I guess. A very attractive twink in sort-of marine gear yells six others out of bungalows in baggy Florida shorts and puts them through exercises. After rude dialogue, he disperses them to fuck in lovely couples in sunny water and shady groves, where washout from overexposure just makes them look more pink and mythic, or in unexplained apartments. Buy HERE.

1996’s ACE IN YOUR FACE (C1R.com) is a Catalina video, a fast seventy minutes in a black-brick basement sex-club with nine well-set-up musclemen, some of whom look a terrifically well-preserved forty. Natural body hair abounds. This movie is a bit of a treasure. Nowadays you don’t see butch, scruffy physical types like this, at least not of this top-notch quality, except maybe in Raging Stallion and TitanMen movies. And Chi Chi Larue directed as well then as now. Cinematically, the movie is kept interesting and watchable, but never forgets its basic goal of helping these hunks arouse your baser urges. Fucks on a motorcycle, across a black leather sofa among glory holes, on cushions before a rack (a trio), and on a mattress before ominously Gothic doors, are as horny as fucks get. For connoisseurs of nostalgia, the cast is composed of Ace Harden, Kyle Brandon, Drew Andrews, Mike Marino, Matt Adams, Tommy Strausser, Kyle McKenna, Rick Estephan, and Steve Rambo. BUY HERE.

There’s moviemaking magic in softcore KNOCKOUT! (VillageLighthouse.com) It’s a wonderfully-made fifty-two minute documentary, with a rather sensational rock score, of a posing session for photographs of butch, handsome, scruffy young boxers. One hunk shaves another’s hair to a burr-cut. One just stands in his corner lightly sweating. One with almost-Aztec tattoos across his pecs and shoulders mock-wrestles, then mock-boxes with a blond. A bearded-and-mohawked brunet poses punching a bag. Dudes pose back-to-back against a boxing ring post and four in the ring at once. Balding, bearded photographer Joe Oppedisano happily shows the models in his digital camera display window just how they’re looking, and we also get lots of flashes of the finished, quite striking photos. You can buy the DVD and also the photos on a 2009 calendar HERE .

1996’s ALLEYBOYS (C1R.com) is yet another very well-preserved Catalina cock-epic by Chi Chi Larue with a difference: it consists of only two one-half-hour scenes of, well, boys in an alley. Scene one starts with a soloist just lowering his jeans, scene two with a couple already at it on a padded bench someone has supplied in the alley. Each scene slowly adds participants until scene one becomes a five-way, scene two a sextet. Many of the guys are way-pretty young musclemen, 1960s ideals already a bit historic in 1996, but absolutely delicious. Each scene proceeds through different combinations. Both are entirely oral and manual—and digital. Scene two includes an amazing six-man suck-circle. The men are simultaneously voyeurs and voyeured upon. Again, for knowledgeable fans, the cast is Steve O'Donnell, Tony Cummings, Kurt Houston, Eric Marx, Jake Holloway, Eduardo, Matt Easton, Adam Rom, and Sam Crockett. BUY HERE.

The jailhouse known as the MUSCLE BEAR TRAP (GayMagix.com) also catches some cute youths. Four scenes get past the dialogue real quick. DETECTIVE: “Don’t you know you’re looking at hard time?” PRISONER: “I sure hope so.” And, voila, young Harrison Ford lookalike detective Johnny Donovan is on his knees with his tattoos showing, blowing Josh West, then over an interrogation table getting fucked. In scene four, tall, built, bear-star Arpad Marklos is celled and angry. His criminally-cute cell-mate, dark-haired Dak Ramsey, would rather get fucked than share space with a mad man. In other scenes, philosophical-looking old-timer-janitor Christian Volt calmly takes over the thick dick which a tit-ringed human garden-gnome named Peter Axel is masturbating in a toilet stall and has great fun with it. Big, Alec Baldwinesque cop Ken Mack offers scruffy, frightened foreigner Tom Colt witness-protection and a stick of pink prick up his hairy ass. Buy it HERE.

1992’s BI-OLOGY (C1R.com) is also from Catalina. It features seven men and five women (including the great Sharon Kane). Two blond doctors, male and female, argue about whether the sex drive is physical or psychological. They’re controlling a man’s dreams, three of which are (1)a mad scene between fashionable high-heel lesbians with long earrings and a tongue-stud who add a massive man to their mix, (2) a gay male couple with great hair and godlike physiques in an artificial waterfall, and (3) a mixed rooftop swimming-pool fourway with Sharon Kane, sunglasses, and a lonnnnng string of pearls. All of Los Angeles could see that last one if it had binoculars string enough! And lucky you, you can see it at home, AND the final scene where both blond doctors ravish their big, unbelievably handsome guinea pig, a work of human art called Cody Foster. BUY HERE.

RETURN TO THE CAFFE CINO is a big, thick book packed with 22 plays, 37 brief memoirs, and 51 photos from the Greenwich Village storefront coffeehouse which was THE BIRTHPLACE OF OFF-OFF BROADWAY AND OF GAY THEATRE. For the HARDCOVER edition, go
 HERE. For the PAPERBACK edition, go HERE.

SEE ME ON VIDEO along with many other living legends of underground theatre HERE. Go down to the segment marked THE CAFFE CINO (00:11:45) and click on WATCH SEGMENT. If you are then curious to know yet more about the Caffe Cino, you may find the Contents Page to fifty-four picture pages about it HERE.

Popularity: 18% [?]